“The Pandas, the Soap, and the Truth”

One Medium’s Journey from Doubt to Trust in the Messages That Arrive Before Their Meaning

March, 20, 2026

Early in my career as a medium, there were times when I would be left a bit shaken after a session. I have always preferred to know as little as possible about a person before they come to sit with me, allowing the information that comes through to stand on its own; clear, specific, and unmistakably beyond anything I could have known.

Occasionally, I would be sitting with a client, and a few details coming through wouldn’t land with them. Either the client didn’t recognize the specific information their Loved One was providing, or it simply made no sense at all. When this happened, I would feel awful that I wasn’t able to provide “the right” information -even though later in that same session, they would hear from their people and pets loud and clear.

For whatever reason, there seemed to be this “alternate noise” that didn’t fit.

To me, it felt like failure. I felt like a failure.

I have always taken this important, healing work very seriously. I have witnessed the peace that comes over people after they’ve heard from their Loved Ones; knowing they are indeed okay, receiving details, advice, encouragement, and appreciation from beyond this plane. Once you’ve experienced how meaningful these messages are, how deeply they can affect someone’s well-being, you don’t want to get even one word wrong.

As time went on and my practice deepened, I learned to gently set the mystery information to the side and wait for the next piece of identifiable evidence to come through, doing my best not to be bothered by the fact that some of it felt “off the mark.”

Many times, those clients would reach out later - sometimes weeks, months, even years after their session, to tell me they had finally put the pieces together. Or that a family member had listened to the recording and immediately knew who that information belonged to.

But at the time, that still wasn’t enough to stop me from feeling awful about it. I could be...who am I trying to kid? I can be quite hard on myself.

And so I continued, quietly carrying the idea that sometimes “nonsense” just comes through. It seemed possible, after all, we are working within a world we understand so little about. Eventually, I made a sort of peace with it. I accepted that there would be moments I didn’t understand, and that my role was not to have all the answers, but to trust the process. If something was important, it would make sense when it was meant to, whether to my client or someone connected to them.

A few years ago, I had a particularly challenging session with a client (who has given me permission to share this).

As we sat together, the first messages from a gentleman with a strong German accent kept coming through. He was deeply apologetic and spoke in what felt like riddles, offering pieces of information that made no sense to my client. And yet, at the same time, he was able to describe people currently in my client’s life with remarkable accuracy.

The confusion was understandable. Both of my client’s parents were alive, so for this man to identify himself as family -specifically as a father figure, felt incredibly strange.

Eventually, we agreed to gently set the German man aside and focus on others who wished to come through. My client had come for a more recent loss, unbeknownst to me, and soon enough his beloved horse stepped forward with messages of comfort and appreciation. This was followed by his best childhood friend, and then a cherished family dog.

My client left feeling relieved, comforted, and deeply grateful to have connected with those he had been hoping to hear from.

And yet, despite the success of the session, I was left rattled. I couldn’t shake the mystery of the German man and why, once again, information that seemed so out of place had come through.

It bothered me so much that, later in the shower where communication often begins for me before a session, I turned to my Guides and my Loved Ones in spirit. I asked them to show me why this happens… why information that appears to make no sense sometimes comes through so strongly.

Two days later, I received a voicemail from my client, excitedly shouting,

“PLEASE CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN! I HAVE SOME WILD NEWS ABOUT THE GERMAN MAN!”

I called him back immediately. He was laughing, crying, and shouting all at once:

“WE WERE TALKING TO MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER! MY BIO-DAD! I’M ADOPTED—I NEVER KNEW!”

After his session, he had called his mother to share the messages from his horse, his friend, and the family dog. He also mentioned the strange German man who had claimed to be family… a father figure who somehow knew details about his wife, children, parents, and even a recent destination vacation they had all taken together.

That’s when his mother told him the truth.

He had been born to a German immigrant. His biological mother had passed shortly after childbirth, and his father, young, grieving, and newly settled in a foreign country, made the heartbreaking decision to place him for adoption.

My client was happy to finally know the truth. He had had suspicions that there was more to know about himself and everything was now out in the open. He said his mom was relieved as well as his parents hadn't known how to approach it so long after this sensitive information should have come out. The healing process finally began for all of them.

In that moment as my client was telling me this, everything began to change for me as well. What I had once labeled as “noise,” “missed,” or “not landing” revealed itself to be something far more meaningful - pieces of a truth not yet known, but no less real. I began to understand that my role is not to filter or force understanding in the moment, but to honor what comes through with trust and integrity. Because sometimes, the messages that make the least sense in the moment are the very ones that carry the deepest truth, arriving exactly when they are meant to, in ways we could never have predicted.

And then, just recently, it happened again at the group reading in February 2026 – Messages of Love From Beyond.

At the beginning of the group session, I shared something a bit unusual. Perfectly drawn letters and a number had appeared in the soap suds while I was showering that morning, as I prepared for the evening. I had no idea what they meant, only that they felt important enough to pass along. At the time, no one in the room recognized them. And so, as I have learned to do, I let them go.

Later in the session, images of bamboo, and then a grandfather figure who identified as a war veteran came through. He showed me a small child, who I assumed was a granddaughter, and then suddenly I was surrounded by pandas. Not just one or two, but an overwhelming sense of panda everything… as if I were standing in the middle of a collection. It felt specific. Intentional. Meant for someone.

And yet… no one claimed him. So again, I released the message.

After the session, I received an email. One of the attendees shared that while it hadn’t made sense in the moment, they now knew who had tried to come through. The “panda child” I had seen was her husband who, as a boy, had collected panda items. His grandfather, a veteran, had been the one stepping forward. And their home holds some of those very pieces of his childhood, those same pandas that had filled my awareness so vividly.

And the letters and numbers from the soap that morning?

Soon after the session, I received word that they, too, found their place.

Very early in my career, I began recording sessions for my clients. At the time, it simply felt like the right thing to do for people. Now, I understand why it mattered so much. Those messages don’t get lost… they get recovered. Revisited. Re-understood, often at exactly the moment they are meant to be.

Moments like these no longer unsettle me in the way they once did. Instead, they remind me of something far greater than my own understanding. That not everything is meant to be recognized in the moment. That not everything is meant to be interpreted, organized, or make sense of right away.

Because sometimes, what feels like confusion is actually precision.

What feels like “noise” to me are memories waiting to be remembered by those who are meant to remember them. And what appears to miss the mark is simply arriving ahead of its time.

I have learned to trust that what comes through does so for a reason, whether it is understood immediately, or unfolds days, months, or even years later - and IT DOES!

More often than not, it is in those very moments, the ones that seem the most uncertain, where the truth is quietly, unmistakably waiting to be discovered.